2023

There’s a lot I could say about last year, but I think it’s better if I kept those joyful and heartbreaking moments to myself.

I hold the good and the bad close to my heart in equal measure. I’ve never been one to make resolutions, but there are a few intentions I want to carry into every day of this year.

Be open with others about my feelings

I spent a lot of time last year wrapped up in my own head, caught up in doubts, anxiety, and second guessing myself. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned it’s that being afraid to express yourself causes a world of hurt for you and the people you love most. And fear can turn you into someone you don’t recognize anymore, someone you aren’t very proud to be. It’s no excuse, but I’ve never been good at having difficult conversations, not when anxiety has managed to convince me I already know what the other person is going to say. My brain has always been too good at jumping to the worst case scenario. We don’t always make the best decisions when we’re living in our heads, but your feelings are valid and deserve to be shared.

Make time every day for my physical and mental health

There’s a lot to be said about taking a small part of each day to work on your mind and body. I’m tired of feeling guilty for not honoring myself the way I know I should, whether it means investing in therapy again, dipping my toes into meditation, going for a walk around the neighborhood, or heading to the gym to sweat it out. It feels good to flex your mind and your muscles. My former therapist used to tell me to write down three things in a journal every day that I was thankful for, it could be as simple as music, your dog, or peanut butter sandwiches. She told me if I was feeling restless to get up and walk around for a few minutes, to do one little thing and see the difference it makes. So this is my attitude for this year and hopefully for good, that every small deed you do for yourself is enough.

Prioritize the things that bring me happiness, joy, and peace

Work does not define me. Stress does not define me. Anxiety does not define me. Life is meant to be enjoyed and your time should be spent on the people, things, and activities that make you happy. I’ve been guilty of putting so much pressure on myself to relax I never really end up taking the time to unwind or let loose. Reading for five minutes is just as good as reading for 30. Working on a creative project and getting stuck is better than not working on it at all. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to do something good for yourself even if it means watching Netflix for a couple hours to catch up on your favorite show. We spend too much of our time working and worrying to feel guilty about making room for the little things.

Stay in my heart, not my head

This kind of goes along with the first point. Your heart rarely steers you wrong in my experience and your head has a way of overthinking everything to the point of being detrimental. When those intrusive thoughts creep in telling me to expect the absolute worst I’m going to do my damndest to remind myself of the reality of the situation. I’m going to lead with my heart and be gentle with myself.

Welcome change and possibilities

The beautiful thing about change is you have the power to create it. It’s easy to convince yourself you’re stuck when it comes to difficult situations in life, but you always have a choice and you can always make a change even when it might feel like it’s too late or too hard. I promise it’s all in your head. I try to remind myself often the path of least resistance isn’t always the right one to take. Sometimes positive change requires risk and putting a little faith in all the possibilities and the fact that nothing is guaranteed at the end of the day, so you might as well at least try. And sometimes it isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to me rambling on about life and all that. I hope these words have inspired you to be gentle with yourself and make room for growth. It can be scary to sit with yourself sometimes and think about what you want to change or work on, but it’s worth it.